Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
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