we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Randomize