South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
