I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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