So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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