People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
sex in a hospital.. check
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
