hotel room ftw
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
