We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
