with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
