I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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