We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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