worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
