I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize