you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
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