you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
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