After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
