I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
