spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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