That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Randomize
