i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
