just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
