Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
