Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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