playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
