I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
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