chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
