Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Text me some of your sweat
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