It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
