I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
