The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
