i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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