hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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