Cold hands, warm shart.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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