Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
