Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize