Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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