It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
