Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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