Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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