I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
