a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize