If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
