I accidentally had phone sex last night
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
