Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
