I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
