PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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