no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
