he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
