he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize