I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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