Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
