Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
