How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
