What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
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