Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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