think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
