I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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