Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Randomize
