brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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