That's intense
tell your sister to shave her snatch
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
