ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
