We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
